1. If I can’t find a clean pair of socks for my baby and while i’m out someone comments on his bare feet I look and say ‘ah man, he was wearing them when we got out of the car, they must have fallen off’.

2. I heard my toddler hiding in the pantry eating chips out of the bag before breakfast and instead of stopping him I poured myself a cup of coffee and enjoyed the 10 minutes of quiet

3. Sometimes I fake cry to get pity from the kids

4. I tell my daughter I’m just saying hello to other drivers when I honk the horn

5 .I secretly want to punch those mums I see at the shops that look so put together and happy

6. Sometimes I go to the gym just to use the free childcare. I sit and read magazines in the change rooms

7. When I laugh extremely loud I snort, and because I snort I laugh harder… Causing a wee bit of wee…

8. We’ve hung sheets or blankets over the kids blinds making it dark when the suns still up. So if I do put them to bed at 6 they think it’s actually really late…

9. When my kids fall over, after I’ve made sure they’re ok, I kinda wish I’d caught it on camera

10.When my son is being really naughty at the playground I pretend he’s not mine and say ‘where’s your mummy? Let’s go find your mummy.’


What are your funny mummy confessions?